How to Overcome Negativity and Take Control of Your Thoughts

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Experiencing a negative state of mind is something that happens to everybody. Maybe there is a particular situation that’s making us feel bad; it could be a job environment that doesn’t suit us or a friend group we don’t feel appreciated in.

But we should see this feeling of disconnection as a call to action from our body: it’s here to tell us that we need to change something about ourselves and our current lifestyle, and we shouldn’t ignore it.

Take time to understand what you’re feeling and what situations may be causing you to feel this way, and take control of your thoughts with this guide.

1. Build and cherish positive connections

Our negative thoughts can make us feel judged or misunderstood, so we isolate ourselves even more to avoid negative emotions. However, these kinds of thoughts are often just a product of our state of mind and don’t match people’s opinions of us. 

You’re not the only one feeling this way and for everything you need, there’s a place online. You’ll be surprised by the number of people willing to help you out or simply talk about similar situations.

Express yourself with people who know what you’re going through. You could find positive connections and support on these platforms:

1. Improspeak: meet the right people to talk to

improspeak home

Improspeak is an original app where you can talk and share your thoughts in a community of open-minded people.

All you need is a webcam and a microphone, and Improspeak will match you with someone based on your shared interests, then the conversation can start.

If you don’t know what to say or struggle to find topics to talk about, Improspeak gives you question cards that you can use to keep the conversation going.

A unique aspect of Improspeak is its way to keep moderation: after each chat, you will be able to rate your conversation buddy. This system keeps the community a safe space to explore new connections.

So if you want to overcome negativity while having meaningful conversations with positive people, Improspeak is the perfect solution for you.

PalTalk icon

2. Paltalk: be yourself anonymously

Paltalk is an app that allows you to enter live chatting rooms about a broad range of subjects, from animals to mental health.

You can go with the flow and pick a random room with a topic you’re interested in, or you can create a group and host your room about anything you want to discuss.

If you’re camera-shy, Paltalk provides a wide range of filters and video effects to help you share your feelings and experiences anonymously!

2. Take control of your thoughts and where you direct them


A famous saying goes: “if you enjoy your own company you’ll never be alone”, and it cannot be more accurate. You will always live with yourself, so it’s better to learn how to appreciate your own company! 

So the first thing to do when we’re feeling down is to recognise this feeling and understand what it’s telling us. When did we start to feel this way? What may have caused this feeling to come up?

Think about what you need physically and mentally and start doing little things for yourself every day.

Allow yourself to feel what you feel, don’t judge and accept these thoughts as they come and go. If you suppress your feelings they will get bigger and find a way to come out, so just let them flow through your mind and body. 

You could do something simple like reading a book before you go to sleep, taking a warm bubble bath, cooking your favourite dish by yourself or whatever brings you joy.

Self-care doesn’t necessarily mean spending money on massages or expensive treats; it simply means nurturing yourself by doing what gives you pleasure and is good for your mind and body.

Discover the power of journaling

Consider journaling to express your thoughts and emotions, this could make you notice how certain thoughts repeat themselves and if they’re correlated with specific triggering times or situations. That could make you take control of this pattern and change the situation.

Try this exercise: check your mood three times a day and write down how you’re feeling in the morning, midday and afternoon, including what you did and how it made you feel on a scale from one to ten.

If you struggle to be consistent with this exercise and to keep track of your mood swings, there are effective apps that can help you with daily reminders and specific exercises.

It might surprise you how you can learn to enjoy and value your own company!

3. Detox from the negativity of social media


Excessive use of social media is related to negative feelings like loneliness, inadequacy, anxiety and depression. 

We are constantly exposed to others’ content about their life. Still, we should remember that the perfect pictures we see on social media are accurately constructed and selected, sharpened and modified to look like that. 

People only show what they decide to reveal about their life, but we assume they’re happier, richer, prettier, smarter than us just by looking at their profile.

We should stop and ask if that social media is making us feel bad about ourselves and consider limiting our use. 

Furthermore, some pages and creators try to demystify social media fakeness by showing the reality behind perfect pictures. An example is beauty.false on Instagram, or pages that help you navigate negative feelings and overcome loneliness or anxiety.

4. Keep around people that brings you joy

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Try to reflect upon your friendships and relationships with others, and focus on how they make you feel after spending time with them.

Some people may make you feel bad and drained after you meet them, and in that case, you should consider limiting your time or setting some boundaries with them. 

On the other hand, there are relationships with people that brighten up your mood or make you feel valid and appreciated, so you should spend more time with them!

Step by step, set up a coffee date, make a call, organise a dinner or simply check on them, have a meaningful talk about how you feel and reconnect.

5. Change your thoughts by trying new things

guys jumping in a lake

This feeling of negativity can be a chance to discover your passions and talents. If you think you don’t have one, it just means you still haven’t found out what it is!

Without trying new things, we never know whether they can be our secret talent or a deep passion. 

Sign up for new classes, learn a second language, travel and get yourself into exciting activities; Give yourself a new goal and you may also find new friends and deep connections to overcome this negative mood. 

Another great option to consider is volunteering for your community. Find out local associations that provide service to the community and choose the one that aligns with your values and needs.

Not only will you feel better, but you will also help others do the same!

1. Acting classes

An activity like acting can help you express yourself and meet new people, and it’s particularly beneficial for self-confidence and social skills.

There are different styles of acting classes: some of them can be entirely comedy based, while others focus on drama or are more engaging with the public, but the performance is always unique and different every time. 

There is also Improv: a form of live theatre in which the actors have no script or topic, and they have to make up a dialogue and a performance simply by improvising at the moment.

Some acting exercises that are often used to practice include:

  • One minute life story: a person tells a one minute story of their life. The other participants listen without interruptions and then repeat the story for as much as they remember.
  • Mirroring: it can be physical or also on a communication level. You should copy what the other person is doing and adapt to their movements in the quickest way possible.  If the mirroring is verbal, you can try to rephrase what your partner said while keeping the same information.
  • “Yes, and “exercises: when you’re improvising, you have to listen and adapt to your partner. You should always avoid blocking new ideas brought to the conversation. A quick rule to go is the “yes, and” rule: basically, you agree with the topic your partner gives you and keep the conversation flowing around it.

If you want to overcome loneliness while having fun with new friends, you should join an acting class and check your local theatres to sign up.

2. WeRoad 

If you want to discover the world while meeting interesting people, you should consider taking a trip with WeRoad.

This organisation plans beautiful trips around the world and helps get people together by their age and interests.

You just have to choose your next destination, and WeRoad matches you with new people to share your adventures with. You can travel the world while starting deep connections with amazing people!

6. Get back to the right perspective in nature

girl in a forest

As we said that having pets is beneficial to your health, spending some time in nature has the same effects.

It can make you feel connected to the world, and put things in perspective: you are not alone. You are part of this ecosystem like everyone else around you. A walk in a park can have relaxing effects and improve your mental and physical health.

You could think of exercising in a park and consider taking outside activities like yoga or cycling classes. That way, you would also meet new people and share fun experiences with them!

There is a professional treatment called ecotherapy which involves doing activities in nature combined with physical activity and social contacts. It has been shown to help with mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. 

Being outside in natural light can be helpful if you experience seasonal affective disorder (SAD), also called seasonal depression, that affects people during darker and colder seasons or times of the year. 

If you can’t go out in nature, bring nature to your house!

Activities like gardening or growing plants can teach you how to cherish these moments. By taking care of them, you learn to take care of yourself too.

7. Adopt a friend and change your life

girl huggung dog

If you have the space, time and money to welcome a pet in your home and life, consider adopting one.

Scientific studies demonstrate that living with a pet helps reduce stress, blood pressure and cardiac risks, other than significantly improving mental health. 

Think about which pet you would prefer to have with you and look for animal shelters in your town. There are a lot of pets that feel lonely and need a forever home. You may save an animal’s life by adopting it!

8. Find out how to overcome negativity with an ally

woman with pc

If this state of negativity persists for an extended amount of time, you should consider discussing it with a therapist. 

We often think we can get through things by ourselves, that we are not struggling enough to get help, or that other people have it worse than us.

But you don’t need it to be bad to ask for help, and you deserve to get help as much as other people. Everybody struggles sometimes, and nobody has to keep feeling like this.

You wouldn’t say:  “you don’t deserve happiness; some people are happier than you”, so thinking you don’t deserve help when you’re not ok because someone has it worse is pretty much the same.

Why should you stay feeling bad? It doesn’t have to be this way, and you can get better. 

If you’re considering seeing a therapist, you can look up different therapy specialists based on your needs and find a therapist near you.

During the pandemic, we’ve seen the development of several online therapy services because of social distancing that may help you if you don’t want to move from home or you’re in another city.

Choose what is best for your needs and start getting better!

In conclusion

These are the best tips to overcome negativity, be patient with yourself and remember that what you’re feeling is absolutely normal!

Whether you’re feeling down because of a specific situation in your life or without an apparent reason, don’t panic and start feeling better with these simple steps. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it, and take care of yourself!